Gone and Alone
by twifanforever460
Summary: What happened when Edward left. What should have happened. This is a version of New Moon. Story much better than summary. I promise!
1. Wishes

_**I DON'T own the charactors. I just borrowed them from Stephenie Meyer.**_

Gone And Alone: Bella's POV

I checked my watch again. It had been 2 days, 3 hours, and 17 minutes since Edward left. I was still on the ground, in the middle of the forest, and waiting to be found. I heard more calling in the distance. Calling for me, I couldn't tell.

For a while, I had stumbled around. I don't know know why. Maybe I hoped he'd come back. I fell and curled on the ground. More and more calls filled my ears. Half the town had probably gathered to look for me.

_' Well, have fun,'_ I thought.

I fell asleep. Of course, this being Forks,Washington, it started to rain. I rolled on my stomach and put my face in hte crease at my elbow. I cryed softly.

He's gone. He's not coming back. He said he didn't mant you. The horrific memories came back to me. I shouldn't be surprised; I was so... plain. Poor Bella, the human. I chuckled darkly.

A rustling came from a nearby bush. The sound made me jump. After a few seconds, it was gone. Iput my hood up and rolled on my back. I tried not to think but knew that there was no use.

My eyes were closed when I heard it. 4 pairs of footsteps coming from the left. Flashlights and propane lanterns flashed around in my face.

"Bella.?" Yelled a husky voice.

Jakob Black stood to the side with 3 guys. They looked huge compared to me. Jakob pulled me up beside him, on my feet. Really bad idea.

I swayed in place for a few seconds."Whoa!" Jake grabbed my arm.

I plunged into the darkness wondering if I would wake up again.

Jakob's POV

Sam led Quil, Embry, and I to where Bella lay. He had seen her running earlierand thought nothing of it. I saw her lying there. She was so different.

Her eyes were closed and she was tiny. Her skin was pale and shallow. She had scratches on her hands and neck from the trees around us. Her eyes had deep shadows under them. She was thin from no food these last couple days.

"Bella!" I yelled.

I felt releif when her eyes fluttered open and her hands twitched. I let out a sigh. I walked forward and pulled her up beside me. Her eyes were wide, but she wasn't there. Unfocused. She blinked a few times and swayed back and forth. She started to fall forward.

"Whoa." I caught her and swung her in my arms., which only made her look even smaller.

"Jake?" Sam said. "She okay?"

"I don't know. Let's get her to Charlie."

We ran to where everyone awaited our return. I hoped she pulled through. For Charlie's sake. He needed her much more than anyone.

So much...

Edward's POV

It was a day after I left Bella. My Bella, my life. I had sat in front of the TV, watching the local news before I got hit. A picture of my Bella came up. I felt my ancient, long-gone heart jump.

The reported started talking. " This just in..." A live video came up with people standing everywhere by a forest."Isabella Swan, daughter of Police Cheif Charlie Swan, has gone missing. We have reason to beleive she is lost in the woods."

More footage came up with a frazzled Charlie. All the Cullens were staring at the TV, masks of horror on their reporter came on again.

"A search party has been together looking for 28 hours. trying to find her. Will we find her? We'll keep you posted."

I jumped out of the chair, pacing. All eyes were looking at me. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling them at the roots. Alice reached for the remote.

"No." I said." I want to make sure they find her."

"Edward..." she started.

"Please Alice. For me and my sanity... Please."

"Fine."

I knew she was mad at me. I had taken Bella from her too. Jasper was mad too. Bella had forgivin him and made Alice happy. Rose was the usual. She didn't care. Emmett was going to miss Bella, Mainly because of her clumsiness. Carlilse and Esme were sad and worried about me.  
Rose left the room in a huff with Emmett at her heels. Alice and Jasper went under the stairs to play cards. Carlisle let go of Esme's hand and went to his study. Esme put a motherly hand on my shoulder with reasurrence.

"It'll end okay."she said.

"We can only hope."

"Well hope for the best."

"Thanks mom."

I sat back on the sofa waiting and watching. Was it my fault? Had I hurt her that bad? To where she would run in the forest and off herself?

_' Of course, you idiot.'_ I thought._' You said you didn't want her.'_

I relived her face in my head. I cringed as I remembered her face in my mind. She had that dint between her brows again, and it was contorted in hurt. You'd think I had slapped her.

It was another day before they said anything else. The reporter came on again and started talking.

"Isabella Swan, missing 52 hours, has been found." My releif flew by the next words out of her mouth." She was unconcious and just recently stopped breathing. They are performing CPR. We await the results."

I growled in frustration. Everyone ran in the room. I told them everyting very quickly.

The TV reporter started talking again. They were showing more live footage of Bella being reeled into the hospital " Isabella Swan has began breathing again but has not regained consiousness. She is currently in the hospital for dehydration, malnourishment, and respiration apparatus. We'll let you know if anything happens."

The reporter continued on to a murder victim in Port Angelas. Everyone left the room except Alice. She walked over and rubbed my shoulder.

_'__She'll be okay_.' She thought.

I sat on the couch. My Bella. She had almost died. Because of me. I would have to see her. I shouldn't, but I needed to. Just one time to remember her make sure she's okay.

I fought with myself mentally, and lost. I rushed away and climbed in the Volvo. I dove twice the speed limit and parked outside the hospital. I knew her room number because Carlisle had been thinking but not voicing.

I walked at a human pace, so as not to attract attention. I sat outside her door. Her breathing was normal and her heartbeat even. She was sleeping. I slipped inside. Charlie wasn't there; that surprised me. She had tubes everywhere. I looked up at her face.

Her skin was pale. Her eyes, sunken in her head, had bruise-like shadows underneith them. She was thin, too thin. She looked dead. No, she looked like... me.

This wasn't my Bella anymore. She was just a Bella. My Bella was lying on the forest floor. In my heart, is where Bella will was still mine. She always would be. I'd come back and check on her. Soon.

I had to leave. Get away before I hurt her again. I put a kiss on her forhead and hand. I inhaled her freesia scent one last time and ran. Ran back to my car and jumped in.

I sped out of there, headed to tell my familyI was leaving early. I was going to Denali. I laughed at myself, knowing it will be a long time before I see Bella again.

I wished for things that will never be.

_**(End of first part. I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me of any ideas or thoughts.)**_


	2. The Silent Treatment

_**I own nothing. Just borrowing from Stephenie Meyer.**_

_**Bella's POV**_

All around me was the forest. Vast expanses of trees everywhere. A bright flash of light to the left. Then, the right. A lot of bepping. My name- over and over again. Then, I was blind again. Right back to the horrible darkness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Lights came to my vision, highlighting the room around me. More beeping and talking. My breathing creeped towards hyperventilation. The bepping got faster and louder. I started to shake violently.

Where was I? I was in supposed to be in the forest. Where was Jake? Hands came to comfort me. I heard Carlisle and Charlie with Renee in the background, sniffing in tears.

"Bella? Calm down. Bella! Your okay. Your in the hospital. Bella!" Carlisle was talking.

The hole in my recently ripped chest, stretched farther out. Carlisle was here but Edward was 's not right. Completely unfair.I calmed myself and slowed my shaking. Charlie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why am I here?" I croaked. My voice was weak.

"You were in the forest for a couple days." Carlisle explained. I looked at him with utter pain."Bella, what happened?"

His voice was calm, only barely concealing his curiosity. It made me angry. Edward was gone, but here Carlisle sat, talking to me like I was a normal person. I'm not. I'm not even me anymore. I'm gone. After this interrogation, I'm done talking.

They waited for an answer.

"I don't remember."I whispered and lied.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Charlie asked.

I didn't want to say it. He was gone. He wasn't coming back. He had told me after school on Thursday. I just lied again.

"I remember gym on Thursday. My last class. That's it. The last thing I remember."

Carlisle was watching me closely. He might have known I was lying. He opened his mouth to speak several times only to change his mind. Finally, he had his diagnosis.

"Mild amnesia."

"What?" Charlie asked.

"The dehydration and malnourishmentmay have caused her o forget part of her memory. It's very possible and very common."

It worked. They believed me. Now I didn't talk anymore. I'd have to keep up the act and stay silent. They were never allowed to know the pain I'm going through.

Never...

_**Carlisle's POV**_

Bella was hurt beyond comphrehension. We all knew it. I just didn't think it would be this bad, that she'd stop talking altogether. Her face showed no emotion. She hadn't smiled or laughed or even frowned. Just sat with a blank expression.

Her body was expiriencing so much loss, that she didn't remember anything Thursday after school. She knew Edward was gone but not why. She didn't remember his last words to her. The conversation they had was completely forgotten.

I thought about this as I walked inside the house.

_**Edward's POV**_

Carlisle was supposed to be back any minute now. I had asked him to check on Bella for me. My family had convinced me to stay. I was not going back to school. I promised them I'd stay, but warned them to be careful.

I heard Carlisle's Mercedes pull into the garage. He got out and slammed the door. He must be frustrated or distracted. He never slams the door. I flinched when I zoomed in on his thoughts.

He had gone to see Bella. He had to diagnose her with mild amnesia. I jumped up and started pacing, running my hands through my hair. She could remember me, but only that I left and the things that happened before.

She didn't remember our last conversation. That was good. And bad. She doesn't remember why I left. Carlisle thought of what she had looked like.

She looked bad, horrible really. She had to be sick. Sallow skin and unfocused eyes. Carlisle surprised me with his next thoughts.

_' She's not talking to us anymore. I said something about mild amnesia, and she locked up. Can't get anything else out of her. It's very confusing'  
_

Then, I found what was bugging him. Bella had looked at him a certain way. Such a pained looked, you would think she was shot in the leg. It confused him. He didn't unerstand. She almost looked scared. Carlisle wanted her to talk so she would tell him what is wrong and why she stopped talking.

_'I just don't understand.'_ he thought.

"No one will."I whispered.

No one except me.

_**(Okay. Sorry for being so short. I had a big homework load. I will post a new chapter as soon as possible. Please review.)**_


	3. What I can't do

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. The great and wonderful Stephenie Meyer does.**_

Bella's POV

It worked. I haven't said a single word since Carlisle said mild amnesia.I feel bad, lying to him. But I have a plan today. I'd write him a letter. Or note. Or something like that.

I had my paper and pen. Carlisle was on habit of checking on me 3-4 times a day. I wander why. At this time, he walked in. I kept away from his eyes, as usual.

I wrote.

_'Hi'_

I handed it to him. He looked at it and smiled at me. I smiled back a little. He looked shocked. I remembered, I hadn't smiled since I got here.

"Hi." he said, still smiling.

He handed the pad back to me. I didn't know what to say. I stayed formal.

_'What have you been doing?'_

He kept smiling as he told me about his day. I kept smiling and nodding. Then, he said something about Edward.

My smile faltered and fell. My breathing spiked and my heart sped looked alarmed. My machines started beeping faster and faster. He jumped and checked my pulse.

Everything stopped.

All black.

Carlisle's POV

I walked in the hospital that day. I had routine to check on Bella first everyday. She still had not talked. She still had not talked. It had been a week. No sleep talking either.

I was a little surprised. She was awake, waiting for me by the looks of it. I quickly checked her machines. Blood pressure was extremely high and she had a slight fever.

I looked over to her. She had a pad and pen in her lap. She handed me the paper.

_'Hi.'_ she wrote.

I looked up and smiled. She smiled back.I was surprised again. She hadn't smiled since she got here. Maybe she would explain what's on her mind.

"Hi." I said back.

I handed the pad back to her. She started writing again. She was looking like herself with that smile. She handed me the paper again. I looked down.

_'What have you been doing?'_

I told her what was going on. She kept smiling and nodding her head. She still had high blood pressure and the fever; that worried me. I started telling the prank that Emmett had played on Emmett.

Her breathing quickened. I jerked my head and stared at her. Her arms werelimp at her sides. Her heart picked up double time. I jumped over and checked her pulse, though I could here it. It was very fast.

Then, it stopped and I wheeled her to the ER.

Edward's POV

Alice and Emmett were having a wrestling match in the backyard. That was a sight. The pixi attacking the bear. I saw something flash in Alice's mind.  
She was having a vision. The thing that got me was that Carlisle and Bella were in it. Alice's eyes glazed over. Emmett launched her into a tree. She didn't notice.

Everyone ran over as she hunched over and put her head between her knees.

"Alice?" Esme asked.

"Carlisle and Bella." She moaned.

"What happened?" Rose asked.

Her vision came up again. I watched as each image flashed through her mind.

Bella had decided to talk to Carlisle on paper. They said hi. He smiled and she smiledfor the first time in days. She wrote something else. Carlisle started telling her what was going on. He started to tell her about Emmett painting my piano pink and green. As soon as he said my name, her smile fell.

Her breathing got faster, her heart beating wildly. Her hands trembled. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head before they closed. Her heart stopped, so did her breathing. The vision blurred.

"What's that mean Alice!"

"Calm Edward." Esme cautioned.

"IT MEANS BELLA MIGHT DIE, EDWARD." Alice shreiked. "SHE REMEMBERED EVERYTHING YOU SAID THE HER."

That stopped me and made me catch up. I took off towards that wretched hospital that imprisoned Balla. Almost everyone followed. Then, I put together what Alice said.

She remembered all along. Bella remembered all the times I told her I loved her. She also remembered the words that dominated all the rest. Me telling her I didn't want her. What a lie that was. I still couldn't go back to her.

We slowed down but still ran to Carlisle's office. He wasn't in there. Everyone sat down to wait. I stood pacing. Emmett stood up and pushed me in a chair,

"She'll be 's stronger than that. She ran with us. Remember?"

"On my BACK!" I growled. "Let me up."

I pushed Emmett away and started pacing again. Carlisle was right under us. Bella had a heart attack. He was almost done stitching her up. Then, Rosealie spoke.  
"I hope she's okay."

"Since when do you care." I laughed humorlously.

"Since you left her."

"Asshole." I muttered.

"I heard that!"

"I know. You were supposed to."

She growled and continued a list of profanities in her head. If there was one thing she was good at, it was cussing.

Carlisle was coming upstarirs now. He didn't know we were here.I reached over and pulled open the door for him. He looked in at all of us, then stepped in.

"Should've known." he muttered.

"She okay?" Alice asked.

"She'll be fine. It was only a minor heart attack. It was bad but not fatal. She won't wake up for a day or two."

I breathed a sigh and plopped in a chair. They all started babbling around me. Carlisle went to write the report. I just tuned them out.

Bella was gonna be fine. Physically, but not mentally. She probably can talk, just won't.

I was thinking too hard. It took me a minute to realize everyone was silent and staring at me. Rosalie had a smirk on her face.

"And they say I'm a potty mouth." "What's that supposed to entail?" I snapped.

"You've been cussing at yourself for three whole minutes." Alice said.

"Didn't notice." I said.

"Edward, she'll be okay." Carlisle attempter to comfort me.

"That's not the only thing wrong with this picture."

"What else?" Emmett asked.

I sighed and sat back down. I struggled for words. How to express what I was feeling at the moment.

"You're feeling guilty." Jasper declared.  
"Sad enough, yes. This would never have happened if I hadn't left her in the first place. I would still be with her. We'd be in school, talking. I'd be able to see her smile with my own eyes, not through someone's head. I'd take her to the meadow and keep her warmth beside me. I'd kiss her and our problems would dissappear. It's all because of me."

Everyone was staring at me. Carlisle had a file in his hands. He looked up and started talking.

"No, Edward. It's not your fault." He pointed to the file in his hands. " I pulled Bell's file. She's always had problems with her heart. All her life. This isn't the first heart attack."

I just looked at him numbly. Bella had problems with her heart and she never told us. Most importantly, she never told me. Carlisle's mind was reeling off things she had to do everyday; check her blood pressure, heartrate, and medication. Tons of medication.

I couldn't comphrehend it. She had never told me. She somehow did all these things without me knowing. My Bella- heart poblems.

I had to see her.

"Carlisle." I realized I had cut him off. " Sorry but can i see her."

His face softened."Room 212"

"No!" Alice yelled.

"What?" I asked perplexed.

"Bella's waking up." She stated. " She's waking up early."

My spirits drooped. " I can't see her."

"Unless you go back to her." Alice hinted. Evil pixi- chick.

"Can't do that either." I grumbled. "Carlisle, Esme... I'll be at the house waiting."

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder. "I'll take care of her. Don't worry."

"Okay."

With that, I ran home.

To clear my thoughts.

_**That's it for today. I might not get the next chapter up for a few days. Please review. Tell me what you think, any ideas. What should I include?Reveiwing lets me know someone is reading. I smile everytime I read one. I will answer back.**_


	4. Who knew she was an artist?

Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight. I only wish

Bella's POV

Pain everywhere. All I could feel was that stinging was this happening? Was I dying? I was hoping my death would be painless. This was pure torture.

My chest felt like it was going to explode. I moaned it hurt so bad. I felt from my insides out, and found I wasn't dead. I had an oxygen mask over my face.

I felt the stinging, at it's worst, over my chest. Tears assulted my eyes, but didn't flow. I pulled my hand, once again covered in tubes, to my top. I lifted it up. I had stitches over my heart.

"Oh crap!" I said into the mask.

Now, Carlisle knows. He's probably pulled my file and seen everything, including the previous 5 heart attacks. I hope he's not mad at me for not telling him. I saw Carlisle's expression outside my door. He looked in at me; worried. He turned the knob and stepped in quietly. I lifted my mask. Then, I broke my rules.

' Carlisle, I'm sorry. I should've told everyone. They said, in Pheonix, that shouldn't happen again. Not after the last surgery. Charlie doesn't even know. I really..."

"Bella. Bella. Relax. Nobody's mad at you. Just a little upset Are you up for a vistitor?"

I cocked an eyebrow."Who?"

"Alice. She's dying up there."

"Interesting word choice."

"I know but are you okay with it?"

I thought for a second. "Yeah, but if she gets too crazy, I'm making Emmett knock her through the window.

"Okay." He smiled. "Bella, why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't want anybody to feel bad for me. Like I said earlier, after my last surgery, I should've been better."

"Well, we're here for you.

I leaned back and whispered, "Some of you."

I know he heard me. He walked out and headed upstairs to get the pixi. I layed my head on the pillow and napped until she got here.

At least she cared.

Carlisle's POV

"Well, we're here for you."

She leaned back and whispered, "Some of you."

I thought about those words and what they meant as I walded upstairs. I walked in and all eyes were on me.

"She's okay."

Alice jumped up. Right along with Emmett.

"Al, Em." I started. "You are both to be kind of quiet. Alice, she said that if you get too crazy, she'll know you through a window. Please be quiet. She needs rest."

"Okay, okay. I promise." Alice jumped in place.

"And she's in... _pain_."

Alice's little eyes widened. She stopped jumping. Her questions shown in her eyes.

"How bad?" She whispered.

"I'm not sure. Enough, almost too much. Give her space. Don't make her laugh too much." Directed at Emmett, of course.

For once, Emmett wasn't smiling. He nodded his head and stared at his feet. I could tell that if I didn't say something, he wouldn't make any jokes at all. That would make Bella feel bad.

"Em?' he looked up. "Make sure you have some jokes. It'll make her feel better."

"OK" He said.

We all knew the problem. Emmett loves Bella like a sister. He didn't like the sound of pain. He knew that if he wasn't careful, and made her laugh too hard, she could end up hurting even more than she was now.

I headed to my desk and picked up her file again. How she could hide this, was beyond me. I smiled and looked back at my 2 kids.

"She's waiting."

They ran.

Alice's POV

It sucked that Bella was in pain. She shouldn't be. I just couldn't believe she could hide it from Edward, let alone my extra sense. I was blind.

I understood why. Being Bella, clumsy and beautiful, she already had enough attention. She didn't like attention. Falling on your face and tripping over air, was bad enough. I was just glad she was talking to us again.

Emmett was a little wierd. He took some deep breathes outside her door. He plastered a smile on his face, and turned the knod. We walked in to find Bell.

She was asleep. She lay on her side, in a fetal positionj. With her legs curled towards her chest. Her whole body twitched and she whimoered in her sleep. Emmett tensed. She still was not sleep talking.

"Might as well hang out." I whispered.

"Yeah." Emmett muttered.

We sat in our own world. We both stared at Bella. I knew we were thinking some of the same things.  
She couldn't survive this. Bella's gotten so small and weak. She was a twig compared to a trunk. Tiny in the hospital bed. It swallowed her up. She couldn't fight too much longer. Something soon, was gonna push her over the edge. She was gonna get hurt.

"How much pain do you tink she's in?" Emmett asked hesitantly.

"I don't know. A lot though."

He moaned. I reached over and patted his knee.

"I hate this!" He raved.

"Me too." A small voice said, "It sucks having tubes in your hands."

"Bella?" Em asked.

"Hey Em." She had a smile in her voice.

"There's our little danger magnet!" I sqealed.

"Softer Al. Headache."

"Sorry."

Bella rolled over and I got a look at her face. I was almost sickened. She had blue smudges under her eyes from sleep deprivation. Her skin was a sickly pale. Her eyes wide. She looked like she was in a lot of pain.

I knew this was even harder on Emmett. Because of how much he loved her. It was killing him.

"Bells, how are you feeling." He asked.

"Never been better."

She went into a coughing fit after those words. She spit in a bed pan and reached for the oxygen mask. She took a couple deep breathes and put it back.

"You know what you need?" I asked.

"What?" Bella murmured.

"Pizza!"  
"I'm on fluids, Al."

"Oh."

Bella nodded and turned to Emmett. He was looking at a journal. It said Bella on the front.

"We could bring some when you can eat solids again." I suggested.

"That sounds... cool."

Bella's eyes flitted shut and she curled into another ball. Her heartbeat evened out and her breathing slowed. Emmett looked at her like she was crazy.

"How can you fall asleep in the middle of a conversation?" He asked.

"Painkillers."  
"Probably." He was eyeballing the journal again. "Your gonna read it, aren't you?"

"You bet." he grinned He reached over and snatched it up.

We flipped to the first page. What we saw amazed us. Who knew Bella was an artist.

The picture was a sketch of Edward. It had his best smile and wide, persuasive eyes. His eyelashes curled so they looked like they would blink right off the page at any minute. His hair was whipped everywhere. His ears and nose in perfect proportions. At the bottom, there was an inscription. It was in Bella's best handwriting.

_'Love, Life, Meaning: Over'_

"Wow! I didn't know she could draw." Em whispered.

"Neither did I." said a voice behind us.

Em and I both jumped out of our seats. We turned and came face to face with Edward himself. I held up the picture and compared them. It looked like the real thing. Edward laughed.

"You huys have to be the 2 most unobservant vampires ever." If we could blush, we'd be strawberries. " Go ahead. I want to see what she's written."

We all sat down and looked at the journal again. We flipped to the next page I was another drawing. This one of me and Jasper.

We were staring into each others eyes, like we so frequently do. We had smiles on our faces and ours hands entertwined. At the bottom, it said:

_'Unrequitted'  
_

"What's that mean?" Edward asked.

"Love without restrictions." I whispered.

The boys stared at me in confusion. You would think I was an alien in the zoo. Or speaking another language.

"We talked about it once. She said that's what me and Jasper have. She said it's a valuable thing." I cleared it up.

They looked like they understood. We turned another page. This had Esme with Carlisle's arm around her waist. She was starsing up at him with her heart in her eyes. This one said,

_'Together, Forever'_

We flipped the page. This one had 2 smaller drawings. The top one had rose smacking Emmett on the back of the head. She was mad and he was smiling. The top said,

_'Sometimes, I hate you'_

The second half had Em with Rose over his shoulder. We saw the stairs in the background. They were both smiling. This half said,

_'But we always work it out in the end.'_

"I think I know why the stairs are in the background." Edward said.

"Why?" I asked.

"That was the day they broke their 36th bed last year."

"Ooh. Gross!" I said while Emmett snickered.

We flipped to the next page and finally saw a journal entry. I read it aloud to them

_"Dear Journal,_

_Gee, that's sounds weird. I don't usually do this kind of thing so bear with me._

_I'm in the hospital, again. I had another heart attack. The 6th. I feel bad that I didn't tell the Cullens. They'll probably be mad. I don't know if it matters._

_I'm not felling too good. My subconsious is telling me different actions, but I'll never act them out._

_I feel like someone ripped my heart out and stomped on it a couple times._

_I'm tired and Carlisle said Alice, the mini energizer bunny, was coming. I hope she brings Emmett. Edward would never come. Gotta go._

_Love, Bella"_

I finished reading. Edward was silent.

"I'm not sure I wannaknow what he subconsious is telling her." I said.

"Me either." Em agreed. "There is more. Hey Edward, get this. It's a song she wrote."

Edward leaned over. I sang the lyrics to them.

_"You said you loved me._

_Why'd you leave _

_You left me on the ground _

_To bleed._

_You cheat _

_You lie _

_I'll never satisfy._

_Go have fun _

_You pshycopath _

_While I sit _

_And feel your wrath._

_You cheat _

_You lie _

_I'll never satisfy."_

It wasn't finished. You could tell. If I could cry, I'd be sobbing. Edward stood up and left. Probably to sulk in his own mess.

"Let's head back." Em disclosed.

"Yeah." I sniffled.

We stood up and headed to the door. Totally forgertting the journal in my hands. That is, until Rose pointed at it and said, "What is that?"

Uh, Oh!

_**(I thank you all for the reviews you've givin me. I really appreciate them. **_

_**I wrote that song in Bella's journal. It's called, "I'll Never Satisfy"**_

_**What did you think? Please review.**_

_**Reviews= LOVE!)**_


	5. Dry Sobbing

**_I don't own anything. The great Stephanie Meyer does._**

Edward's POV

Another secret. I didn't know Bella could draw like that. My picture had been perfect. It looked so real. Bella was amazing.

I knew why she wrote that song. I knew what those lyrics meant. She was referring to me. It made me feel horrible. I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and run. I also knew that I can't do that either. She'd end up hurt again. Anyways, after this, I doubt she'd take me back.

All these thoughts were racing through my head as I went back to Carlisle's office. I walked in as Carlisle started to talk.

"Sorry." I said as I sat down.

He went on with what he was saying, only to be interupted again. Alice and Emmett walked in. I cursed when I saw they still had Bella's journal.

"What's that?" Rosehad noticed too.

"What? Oh! Bella's journal." Emmett said unashamed.

Esme took it and sat it on Carlisle's desk.

"It's not nice to invade people's privacy."

"But Mom. She's an artist. And a song writer.! It's amazing." Alice babbled.

"Artist? Song writer?" Esme asked.

"Look! She drew pictures of all of us. Even Rose!" Em said.

Rose growled._ 'Why has the rediculous fucking human been drawing me? Though I am a good model...'_

Esme's curiosity got the better of her. She opened to the first page and gasped.

"Oh my. Carlisle, come look at this!"

Carlisle came over and looked. He was just as amazed as anyone else.

"It looks just like you. The smile, the eyes. Even the hair. It's got perfect proportions. It's perfect!"Esme mumbled.

They flipped to Alice and Jasper's. Jasper had drifted in and stood over Eme's shoulder, ogling at his porttait below.

"She really is amazing." Jazz whispered.

"Next. You'll like this one, Esme." Em said.

They flipped to Carlisle and Esme. Esme was gonna dry sob in a minute. Carlisle was amazed, his thoughts going so fast. I couldn't understand them. Even Rose was amazed at the perfect details.

They flipped to Rose and Em. Everyone laughed. Rose and Em played out the scenes. Rose smacked him in the head and Em threw her over his shoulder.

They all silently read the journal. They got to my name, and all widened their eyes. Esme read on to the song. Just as I thought, she started to cry the only way she can: dry sobbing.

Carlisle took the journal and put it down. He turnedEsme into his chest and rubbed back. Rose even looked sad.

That was new.

And then, Rose, of all people, broke the silence.

"As crazy az it seems, I know it's too late, but I'm starting to love Bella." she admitted.

So, now she started to cry. She turned into Emmett's shoulder and sobbed. She was finally seeing the light. Only, It wasa too late.

Jasper and I couldn't take it. Me, the thoughts and him, the emotions. We both ran from the room. We ended up all theway to my Volvo before we stopped. We jumped in and started for the house.

"That went gret." He said.

"Yeah." I agreed."Bella's an artist and now Rose hates me for leaving her."

"That's is crazy. Wonder what changed her mind?"  
"I have no idea. Everyone's thoughts were caotic in there. Bella is very good at art though."I told him.

"That she is. I think it's new. She had classes."

"What?" I yelped. _Classes?_ "What do you mean?"

"She told me. She wanted to get you a Christmas present. Your virtually hard to buy for, so she signed for an art learned very quick. She was gonna make a canvas drawing of us Cullens with Charlie, Renee, Phil, And her. All one family were her words."

I couldn't believe this. Bella took a class for me. To make me a gift. I ruined it. That made me feeleven worse.I pulled up to our house.

Jasper jumped out, thinking of hunting. That was fine with me. I needed time alone to think. About Bella. About me. About everything.

I headed upstairs to my room. The white walls and golden colored carpet never looked so inviting. I went to my stereo.

I looked through my cds. Trying to find a good song. I was having trouble. I decided on _"15 Step" by Radiohead._

I lay on my leather couch. I wished I could fall asleep. But then again, I'm glad I don't. I'd have nighmares.

I just sat and thought about Bell's drawings.

_**(So what did you think. Please review. Did you like Rose's change in how she felt? Tell me!)**_


	6. What I forgot

_**Disclaimer- I don't own the characters. (I only wish.)**_

_**Rosalie's POV**_

I couldn't believe I was feeling like this. It surprised the hell out of me.I finally understood the pain Bella was in. I was starting to love her like I should have before.

I decided to apologize to her. Apologize for the things I said and for being a total bitch. I had so many things running through my head that I barely noticed I was already outside her room.

I knocked and walked in. I saw her standing up with a cool pair of pants on. She was wearing a shirt with a cool print on it paired with some sneakers. I was leaving. She looked up.

"Hey." I said.

"Hi."

I started to fidget with my necklace. This was hard...I'd never apologized to someone before.

"Bella...Uh! I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was a rude bitch to you. I'm sorry I didn't try to accept you. I understand if you hate me, but you needed to know that I'm sorry." I blurted it out.

I was taken back when I felt her warm arms around my waist. I leaned into her embrace. I had never realized I was quite a bit taller than she pulled away, she had tears in her eyes.

"It's okay Rose. I always forgave you."

"So... your leaving." I asked. "That's cool."

"Yep." she ginned. Then, frowned. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys about my heart problems. I probably should've."

"You should have told us. But, with us being vampires, I'm surprised we didn't see it our selves."

"Rose. I..." She started but stopped.

"What Bells?"

"Can you tell E-Edward that that I'm sorry I didn't tell him." she stuttered.

"Of course Bella!" I said. "I should go. Your dad will be here soon. I'll come over soon. I promise."

"Okay." she hugged me again.

I left that room feeling like less of a bitch than ever before. I felt a little better about myself. I walked all the way home, thinking about her words. I walked in and saw everyone waiting. I told Edward what she said.

"I knew she'd do that." he mumbled.

"Do what?" Jasper asked.

"Blame herself for me being stupid."

"Aah." Jazz said.

Edward stood up and walked out of the room mumbling something about hunting. I walked uptairs. Emmett, being the puppy he is, followed.

"What's wrong Rosie?" he nuzzled my neck.

"Bella forgave me so easy. I can see why you guys love her so much."

Emmett came around to meet my gaze. He pressed his lips to mine in a soft, sweet touch. "Told you so." he mumbled. His tongue rubbed across my bottom lip, making me shiver with desire. He threw me on the bed to distract me It worked.

Bella's POV

Rose apologizing to me meant so much. After she left, I sat down to wait for dad. He was on his way to get me.

I'd been in this hell-hole for 2 still too skinny, everything else was fine. My heart was back to normal, for now. I had even more meds than before.

That would get old real quick.

Charlie arrived. For the first time in a while, I hugged my fathr. He held me in that tight embrace for a full five minutes. That's a record.

"Thank god your okay." he gratified.

"Thank god I get to go home."

"Yeah. That too!"

He picked up my duffel bag and we walked out. I got in while he started the car. We didn't talk on the way home. Certain things don't change.

When we got home, I excused myself to my room. It had a little dust on some things. I got a damp rag and wiped off my books. I put clean sheets on my bed. I took all my clean clothes and put them in my dresser.

I had really missed this place. I checked my heartbeat: normal. I took all my medication: 12 pills. I was getting tired I changed into my pj's and lay down.

I fell into sleep.  
~~~~~(((((((( ~~~~~

I was in the forest, running. I recognized this [art of the forest. It was the one Edward left me in. That freaked me out majorly. Then, I heard it.

_'I don't want you'  
_

_'Your not good enough'  
_

_'I don't need you'  
_

_"I don't **LOVE** you."_ Came Edward's voice beside me.

~~~~~(((((((( ~~~~~

I woke up screaming. Charlie ran in, looking everywhere. He probably thought someone in here. Then, he saw me in my bed and understood, it was my dream.

"Bells. Honey, it was a dream." he gave me an awkward hug."What did you dream?"

"I forgot he said those things." I sobbed. "I remember what he said when he left me."

"What who said? Who left you?" he was thoroughly confused.

I looked at him. I know I looked horrible. I whispered, "Edward."

After I said that, he looked mad. e stormed out and I heard him pick up the phone. I tuned him out and got ready for my day.

**_(Please review. I like to know what you think. _**

**_Hint for future in this story- tragedy hits soon!)_**


	7. Truly Lost and Alone

_**(Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. I just love to twist the plots.)**_

Final Chapter: Truly Lost and Alone

Bella's POV

Charlie was pissed to say in the least. He blamed Edward for it all. Over the next few nights, my nightmares got even worse. I was not liking this. To add to it, I wasn't the only one messed up.

Charlie was staring to develop a cough. He had a fever. He tried to go to work but I made him stay home. He also tried to fight me on it, but of course, I won. I wrapped him in a blanket and fed him soup all day. He called it hell, I called it heaven.

While he was asleep, Rose came by. We talked about her family minus one person. I found that when she wasn't being a bitch, she was actually quite enjoyable to be around. We also talked about cars. I learned a lot about cars from her in one little conversation. I found that I really like them.

She left as soon as Charlie woke up. I gave him some sinus medicine and turned on a ball game. I went upstairs and decided to take a shower.

As the water cascaded down my body, I noticed I was majorly underweight. I had not been eating. I don't even remember my last meal. I turned off the water and dried off. I pulled on a pair of sweats and a holey t-shirt. As I stepped out of the bathroom, I heard Charlie having a major coughing fit downstairs. I rushed downstairs. When I found him in the kitchen, I almost screamed.

Charlie was coughing over the sink. Coughing blood. It definitely didn't look good. After the fit was over, I grabbed a towel and he held it to his mouth I ran him outside despite what I was wearing. I had never driven the cruiser but that is where we headed. I put him in the passenger seat. I jumped behind the wheel and spun out of there.

I got well near speeding. Charlie gave me the death glare when I pulled into the hospital but I ignored it. He didn't say anything. I got him inside. After I explained what happened, the doctors led him away for testing.

I called Billy and Jake. They came. Jake pulled me into a huge hug saying everything would be okay. His skin was burning to the touch. We all sat out the wait. I was inpatient.

After a couple hours, the doctor came out. He didn't look like he had good news. He handed me a paper with the results. I looked down and cried when I saw it.

I was truly lost and alone.

Charlie had leukemia.

_**(PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!)**_


	8. ANNOUNCEMENT

_**Announcement**_

Dear Readers,

I'm sorry. I know I left this story on a major cliffy. I'm making the next part of this story into another story. If you are interested, this story is called _'As Time Flies.'_

I'm also still working on _'Far From His Arms.'_ If you like my stories, please review. I need reviews to know that people are reading. Please... just show me that someone is out there and interested.

Yours Truly,

_**Twifanforever460**_


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